It is hard to have difficult conversations with your child. It can be an awkward conversation to start, and they are worried about what effect it will have on them. Nevertheless, it is a needed conversation, so they know the difference.
Use Real Names for Body Parts
It is essential to teach your children the proper names for their body parts. Teaching them the correct name for parts of their anatomy prevents confusion if they need to talk to you about good or bad touches. In addition, it also helps them not to be ashamed of their body.
Using nicknames for their genital area makes your children feel that the areas are shameful and ignored. It may confuse others if your child needs to talk about pain in the genital area when they go to the doctor. Most importantly, the way you teach your children will be how they teach their children.
Let Them Know They are in Charge of Their Body
Tell them they are the ones who choose who can or can not touch them. Many times if a friend or family member comes over, individuals tell their child to hug them. Having your child hug people they do not want to teaches the child that others control their body.
If you tell your children to hug and kiss other people, they feel that they have to listen and do what an adult asks. Kids who think they cannot make their own choice are likely to comply with adults who ask for inappropriate touching. Instead of telling them who to hug, please give them the freedom to make that choice on their own.
Teach Your Child About Private Areas
Most people recommend using the bathing suit as an example of private areas. Let them know that bathing suits cover private areas for both boys and girls. Let them know that when they need to talk about their private areas, speak to you or your significant other at home and not in public.
While you are talking to them about private areas, it is a great way to introduce boundaries. Let them know that others should respect their boundaries, and they need to respect another person’s boundaries. Maybe they want to hug someone, and the other person does not want to hug them; they need to listen to them.
The Importance of Honesty
Many predators tell children they need to keep their time a secret or have a special relationship. Let your children know the importance of honesty and that secrets are not good. If the child does not feel they can be honest, they will likely carry the burden and feel guilty. Holding in feelings is not healthy, and why it is important to let children know they can talk to you about anything.
The Difference Between Good and Bad Touch
The simplest way to explain this is appropriate touch feels good and inappropriate touching does not. Give examples of good touches, such as a pat on the back or a wanted hug. And pinching or hitting are examples of bad touches.
Ask them questions to make sure they understand the difference. Such as how does it feel when daddy gives you a high five after you throw the ball to him. If they say good, then that is an example of good touching. For an example of bad touching, you can give them an example of a kid pushed them at school and if that felt good or bad.
Give Them Permission to Say No and Be Rude
Ensure your child understands that they can be rude if an adult tells them to hug them or touch them in a way they do not want to. Many parents teach their children to always be polite to adults. And while their intention is good, your child also needs to know that their body is more important than politeness. No is a complete sentence that needs no explanation. Children should need to know saying no to unwanted touch is appropriate.
Talking about appropriate and inappropriate touch can be a difficult conversation to have but is necessary. Psychologists say that parents should begin talking to their children about their bodies from a young age. Empower your children at a young age, so they are confident in saying no as they age.