Is your child shy? Do people make comments about how quiet they are? Are you concerned about it? If you’ve answered yes to any of these questions then read on – because our top tips for helping you child become more confident can really make a huge difference in your child’s life.
The difference between lacking in confidence and being quiet
Not all quiet children lack confidence. Don’t mistake loud, boisterous children for confident children. It doesn’t automatically follow that the child whose voice is most often heard is the child with the most confidence. But if your child is quiet and lacks confidence then you will know because they will show some or all of the following:
Reluctance to join in games or activities with others
Reluctance to speak up in class
Lack of friendships
A quiet child who has friends and has the ability to join in with games and activities is simply a child who doesn’t feel the need to speak up much – but who crucially, can when the need arises.
Helping your child to gain confidence
Begin small. Don’t expect the world to begin with because a lack of confidence comes from a number of complex issues which aren’t immediately corrected. Here’s an easy to remember ‘rule’ list for you to turn to whenever you’re in doubt:
The Three Ps
Praise
Patience
Persistence
Praise is the most important of the Three Ps. That’s because it’s praise which helps a child’s self-confidence grow – alongside achievement. Consistently praise your child for their achievements, no matter how small they may be.
You can offer praise for the simple act of them smiling at someone, for their having the nerve to pay at the shop, for them asking a question in class, or for tidying their room. Actively seek opportunities to offer praise. Your child’s self-esteem will be boosted continually, making it harder for them to have negative thoughts about themselves.
Patience is also vital. We don’t make changes in our habits overnight and children can’t be expected to either. It may take a few years for your child to grow in confidence – but don’t give up! This is where persistence comes in, remain persistent in your praise and in your efforts to challenge your child gently but continually.
You will begin to see small results and as you do, you have more reason to offer praise. This independent school in Hertfordshire is proud of its nurturing approach to helping children of all confidence levels gain the skills necessary to face all sorts of challenges, both academic and otherwise.
