Hey, shiny Chromebook (Chromey?),
Welcome to your new, er, homey.
In the past I’ve used and abused your kind,
The grey, the white, the silver- I didn’t mind.
This time I want our relationship to last
a long time and not burn out so fast.
I promise not to cover you in crumbs,
You won’t belong to the kids- you’ll just be Mum’s.
I won’t spit coffee at your screen
over the funniest Youtube video I’ve ever seen.
I won’t burn you with a scented candle-
(Can you believe I was such a middle class vandal?)
I won’t melt your keys whilst drying my hair,
You soldiered (soldered?) on but I really didn’t care.
Most of all I promise to never again drown you in Prosecco!
(Oh but surely what a fine way to go!).
You and me could do great things,
We could write wonderful words and get lots of pings.
I hope one day our words will make a difference for the better, but you need to know
If we do well and somehow make lots of money I will have to replace you with a MacBook Pro.