I haven't blogged in over a week.
This is not good for two reasons:
One, I have lots of sponsored posts and reviews that people are waiting for me to post. Gulp. Sorry, I will get them done I promise.
Two, it means life is passing me by so quickly and I'm not preserving the memories of my family, which was the purpose of the blog.
I miss blogging and I want to blog. I have been reading a lot of posts recently about oversharing and as much I love to share our family life with our blog readers, I'm very conscious that some things just aren't MY story to tell. So I don't.
This is fine and I believe that this is the right decision. But, while I am remaining silent on the bad times or sadness in my personal life, I can't bring myself to write ANYTHING on my blog.
I had my Country Kids post ready to post, I couldn't do it. I thought maybe I could at least manage a one photo Silent Sunday, but no, it just didn't feel right.
I think if I just had a seperate business blog then I could manage to keep posting the reviews that are in draft on there, as that would not seem so inappropriate. However, I also know that I don't have time to run two blogs for myself so this will not be the way forward for me.
I think that I needed to write this post first and then from tonight or tomorrow, I can start to post all my linky's and reviews.
I also want to go back to occasional no photo just ramble posts on my blog as I love reading back on these and daily write ups that I wrote about our family life while Izzy was a little, constantly feeding baby.
They are also a nice respite from writing posts with lots of photos, links and badges.
Today, I have a few quiet hours at home with Izzy before I pick the kids up early from school and my sad day will really begin. Izzy keeps coming up to me as I write this and playing with my hair, whilst saying, "Awwww, Mumma!", then giving me snotty kisses and cuddles. She is so sweet.
I normally only write at night when the kids are sleeping, so she will be waiting for our Mummy and Izzy playtime soon. It is the snotty season again, and from now, until February, my kids will all have runny noses I expect (must craft Hankies or buy lots of tissues!).
I have a tight chest and a cough that I always get in September (why?), I hope it clears soon.
I will be seeing lots of family friends this afternoon, so we can grieve and remember together. I love living in my town with so many of my family around me, not to mention school friends, work friends, drinking friends and of course all the friends that I have met through having kids the same age.
I have a lot of people to love in my life and I know there are a lot of people who love me and are always there for me. Thank you. I never take this for granted.
Last Monday, whilst feeling shocked and distraught, I walked out to pick the kids up from school. As I felt the sun warm my skin, and the breeze blow against me, it just reminded me that it is these little things that keep me hopeful in life.
A smile from another parent on the school run or a wave to someone in the car, all little moments that keep me smiling.
Sending love and hugs to a lot of important people in my life today. You are loved.